COOL POTATOES 
Rosa's Street In Tulbagh
I have never understood the meaning of Cool Potatoes, but suffice it to say that anything cool right now will be welcome. Rosa took a huge leap of faith at the end of last year (the reason why it has been so veeeery quiet from this quarter) and moved itself - and the Rosa family - to the Cape. People said to me "you are very brave" and I did not quite get that part. But hey man. Never a truer phrase was uttered.First let's talk about the heat? Do you know that it rises to 45 degrees Celsius on the stoepie of Rosa's new residence and this is at 17.30 in the afternoon! 38 degrees is a normal day, 30 degrees is relatively cool. In my beloved Jozi, 30 degrees had me and the rest of the town sweltering, but at least at night it cooled down. See? That word again "cool"? People say it is like living in an oven here; I say try the hob!
Victorian House in Church Street
Now let's talk about cool as in it's cool to be hep? Nope. No cool cats or potatoes here. Not a one. A sense of humour would be nice, never mind cool. The other evening I was parking off on the stoep with a glass of red wine clutched in my hand. "Clutched" being the operative word. Come 19.00 I am drooling for that glass of squashed and fermented grapes. Fortunately, there is absolutely no shortage of red wine in this region and that indeed is very cool. But back to the stoep. My chair was behind the pomegranate tree so at first glance I was not immediately to view. I heard a flop and looked up to see the stalwart of the street, a woman of about 65, land from her flight over the fence of the house diagonally across the street. Some background. Rosa has taken up residence in Church Street, Tulbagh (originality is also not huge down here; the street has a church) and for those in the know and here I am guessing about -5% of anyone reading this, Church Street in Tulbagh is the longest Museum street in the whole of SA. Every single house is either a Cape Dutch number dating back to the 1700s, or a Victorian Jenny-come-lately circa late 1800s early 1900s. It is indeed a most impressive street and the reason why Rosa chose to have a presence in this particular street. Tourists trail up and down the street daily and the idea is to divert them into the Voorkamer of this 1798 abode that now houses Rosa's Cape Office. But back to the leap. The stalwart, as with everyone else in this street, is fiercely protective of Church Street and has taken upon herself the policing of said street. I.e. she snoops around ensuring that all is as it should be. But here's the thing, when I say "flew" not only did she look as though she was auditioning for Swan Lake, she was clutching a bucket just as ardently as I my glass of red wine!The garden that she exited from and whose owner lives in Cape Town and visits only at weekends, is the nicest in the street by far. It is what I (and Home & Garden) call a prairie garden. Beautiful, tall flowering plants abound and in honestly I have been circling the place myself wondering if I could perhaps snip a little something from it and grow it on the terrace here. Anyhow Madam Swan who laughs loudly every time she disapproves of something you say, which with us Gauties is basically every word we utter, was caught red-wined stealing a bucket full of slips from this wonderful garden. I nearly fell off my chair laughing at this lady with grey hair clearing a fence that even the crooks in town (and there are several, not dangerous ones, just normal crooks) find challenging. I have since been informed that the leap was not prompted by adrenalin, but because she was an actual ballet dancer in her day! When she spotted me and my wine glass she twirled her hand and high tailed it back down the road! Perhaps to those reading this it is not funny? But when put together with the rest of the townsfolk one starts to think one has landed in in Wonderland......the place that Alice visited?
For eg, the man next door lives in a demi -mansion of French design and keeps actual Rembrandts and other antiquities. He is filthy rich but apart from the size, the outer appearance of the house belies this fact. He has been ejected from every single committee that has ever been formed in Tulbagh. I wondered why because charming is not the word. Look, he is as antique as his furniture and paintings but he is most certainly charming. Wait the Tulbagh veterans said tell us that two months from now. It took precisely two weeks for me to start leopard crawling out of the front of the house in the evenings to avoid detection. Call me nuts, but I am sure the man has a mirror positioned just so, which allows him to keep cavy on this much lower down in the pecking order residence. You see, whilst I am indeed in much need of Rosa's anti-aging serums, oils and cleansers, to this person I am like How-could-I-be-so-lucky-to-have-a-blond-younger-woman-move-in-next-door? Who, according to his well-honed masculine ego (this never gets old by the way) was just waiting to fold and become the latest in a long line of escapee consorts . Once detected, I had two options, 1) take flight (see above) 2) play hostess, because once spotted my spotter would march down his front steps, swing a left and march decisively in my direction. But since I battle to fly onto a horse these days in one go, it was the latter option that was open to me. I would be trapped on the stoep for hours and hours and hours. The alternative was to sidle past him, run inside and slam the door in his face. And even for one such as me, that is rude!
Guest House in Church Street
Aside from the antique collector, whose 5 cats I thought were a new breed of Siamese they are so thin, and the stalwart we have a collection of rather nice guest houses and self-catering establishments which are filled with Capetonians (from the city an hour away) most weekends. There are a few restaurants too, that sport blackboards outside their eateries with "Best Hamburger in South Africa"written in pink chalk, or "Rack of Ribs or R49.00". Weeeeeeh, I wail in self-pity. And those restaurants in 4th Avenue, Parkhurst I thought I was over? I fantasize about the awesome menus, and the awesome people. People who are game to try anything new and who keep the eateries edgy and interesting? And people, I hasten to add, who could not give a rat's bottom about what is happening at the table next to theirs! Oh how I miss Johannesburg. And please do believe me when I say this place is unbelievably, unbelievably beautiful. So beautiful it hurts to look at it. Which gives me the chance to launch into the adage "beauty is as beauty does". It is rather like a beautiful woman, you know. Who has had so much praise and adoration thrown her way all her life that she plain forgot to get a personality? This place is stunningly beautiful. You look out the front door, mountains. You sit in the orchard in our garden below the house, mountains. You stroll under the oak trees in the same garden - mountains. You saunter past the grape vines - more mountains. And you take a swim in the evenings in the huge lake that has mountains as a backdrop on one side and vineyards on the other. Once upon a time I read an article about the Cape wherein the journo said that people living in the Cape believed they were living in a magazine. Now isn't that the truth? They do, and they are. To add to this, my sister was telling me of an article written recently by another Jozi journo who tongue in cheek asked the question why? Why do Capetonians rate their city so? If they left it to us (Gauties) we would level Table Mountain and put up a development, she wrote. Tee Hee. Just IMAGINE?
Little Church at Monpellier Wine Estate, Tulbagh
The dogs are loving it here though. They have a 2.2 hectare garden just across the street in which to hunt guinea fowl and chase peacocks. In this street, one has to cross a strip of tar to reach one's garden?? They (the dogs) also make mock charges from the stoep each evening as the townsfolk perform their nightly constitutions. I try to explain to the pained expressions that the dogs are used to living behind very high walls so for them it is such a treat to have people to chase? It kind of doesn't wash and we are finding that the nightly strollers are diverting to Van der Stel Street instead. Which means that the fat Jacqueline Russell and her brother, Stavros, sit in anticipation of irritating the townsfolk only to find that the number of townsfolk to irritate has dwindled. Before moving on from the two over-indulged dogs, I must tell you that Jacqui is on a course of cortisone to sort out her chronic bronchitis, acquired while living in Dullstroom (See the picture of winter in Dullstroom below). This has given her such a voracious appetite that I keep thinking I somehow acquired a stuffed dog that looks exactly like Madam Jacqueline, which stuffed dog is part of the kitchen bric-a-brac, because there parking on the new Persian mat in front of the fireplace is this rotund, motionless little irritation. At first one is so attuned to the sight that one overlooks its presence but a warbling starts up that progresses into a loud yodeling and then to sharp, lion-cub coughs. She is waiting for whatever lives in that fridge, you see, and the rug has been put there to make her vigil comfortable. I swear she is part Garfield.
Winter in Dullstroom
I could go on and on and on but I shall try not to. There was a reason for the reverse of Die Groot Trek and while the emotions are to the fore, the motivation behind the move is still there. From a business point of view it made sense to launch to the Wafties. I.e. the Organics..... And this has been a sound decision. In Johannesburg people are results driven, in the Cape they are guided by the two "Cs" Conscience and Common Sense. The high temperatures we experience here are due in part to the global climate change and people down here take that rather seriously. Every supermarket has a choice of free range offerings. And there are organic farms all over the place. We were driving back from Cape Town on Sunday and I noticed a sign that said Organic Bemestings. You see, I exclaimed. They even have different words down here! Only to find myself looking rather foolish when it was explained to me that "bemestings" means fertilizer or plant dressing. It does not mean Organic Bees! Talking about Afrikaans though. They do indeed speak it differently down here. It seems to be they use bigger words and I haven't a living clue what is being said to me half the time. I have a lady help me around the place and I foolishly suggested that she speak to me only in Afrikaans. I have NO idea what she is saying. Apart from the accent which is challenging in itself, she speaks "high" Afrikaans. I am left staring at her blankly and she has to grope around for the English word. But I will get there I guess, although I am sure I know more Russian than I do Afrikaans (al la my Russian friend). I cannot understand my problem?? It may have something to do with coming from Durban originally. Our second language down there was Zulu. Eons ago, my cousin was even sent home from his first day at school because he spoke only Zulu. The teacher said send that little Zulu home and only when he can speak English, let him come back! His nickname was Bheki and he had red hair, but unless you spotted the red hair you would have had him pinned for a Zulu for sure. Not uncommon in KZN actually. In the olden days when they had telephone exchanges in the country areas, the farmers would chat amongst themselves in Zulu so that the person on the exchange could not understand what was being said. In Tulbagh it used to be completely Afrikaans but there has been a huge influx of foreigners. People like us, from the North and people from further North, Europe. You would think there was a funny smell under their noses when the locals refer to the Northerners. The farmers down here go back generations you see and work their butts off on their farms. Nowadays, according to one farmer whose family has been farming in the area for 4 generations, the Northerners come down here and build fancy storerooms and pay the farm labourers above the going rate. I went without help for the whole of last year because I just could not find one single person who actually wanted to work in that Mpumulanga town we spent time in. I tried out someone recommended but she came to me three weeks after starting and gave me back my key and asked for her i-moppy. (she had brought her own mop) No unpleasantness, she just plain gapped it. So I really do not know myself now that I have help again. It frees me up to do SEO (Search Engine Optimisation) work which I have been avoiding because it is such a time consuming task and so terrifyingly dull. It is like watching paint dry.
Well it seems as though I did indeed go on and on and on. There is just so very much to say when one has moved countries. The good and the bad. The good, and there is plenty that is good here, is that the infrastructure is amazing. The switchboard at the Municipality actually answers in 3 rings. The police are on the ball and chase after thieves. The Vet calls to find out how your dog is doing on the meds she prescribed and tells you about a moonlight horse ride happening over the weekend. Telkom actually is switched on and they too answer their depot phones. The roads are being fixed at the moment and I do not see any evidence of a Toll gantry. And all of this in the middle of beautiful wine estates and mountains? So forgive me for sounding like a brat at the beginning of this dispatch. I am just homesick. Very, very homesick.
The Cow Shed..... Up North...weeeeh!
OK, now to the part I should always start with but never to. ROSA! I have been thinking that perhaps I should write a grown up newsletter that deals only with Rosa Organics so that I can get some actual mileage out of these indulgences of mine? I break all the rules in the book when it comes to business missives when I start tapping away at the key board. Mind you, I do get mileage because for some reason people read these silly writings and get to the part that matters, Rosa's awesome brands!
Here are some Rosa news-bites for those who have missed us?
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Johannesburg has not been abandoned and Marian Kruger is now our regional representative in Gauteng. Her details are on the website but for ease of reference you can get her on marian@rosaorganics.com or 072 204 6036.
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The postal service is still doing it stuff and orders sent from here take a day or so less than they did before. We are also filling in the postal slip which is facilitating the process so much more efficiently. We found that some Joburg post offices were not always putting slips in the boxes.
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Silhouette with Grapefruit is on special at the moment. It is a fab product for the body because it contains citrus oils that are good for getting rid of adipose tissue (those wobbly bits). Including postage you can get a 100ml bottle at R330.00. Stocks are limited though so get in touch quickly if you are keen.
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Everyone who is used to ordering directly from Rosa will still be able to do so by the way. Marian is handling new business and anyone of you who finds the concept of Cape (don't blame you) too far away!
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Ta Ra.....Drum roll!!!! We are re-launching Rosa in this year to beauty Eds and salons! The time is right to go back into retail outlets for those of you who prefer walking into a shop. There will still be a price advantage of shopping directly with us and waiting the four to five days it takes, but the convenience of shopping at a local salon must not be overlooked.
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The relaunch will coincide with the re-stock that is in the bag at the moment. We restock annually because we do not carry stock for long periods. The shelf life is exceptional. 3 to 4 years unopened, but just the same, we like to be on top of our game.
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Rosa Protege is making its formal debut this year. We piloted a 10ml roll on of this amazing product and the success was quite outstanding. Not surprising really when one considers that it is a moisturizer, sun screen and anti-oxidant all rolled into one, and the best part it is entirely natural. No dodgy ingredients at all (a la some of the sun screens out there).
And there you have it. Rosa has moved again. I have to say this one is a biggie and whilst I loved Dullies to start and hated it at the end, the reverse applies here. Which all means that it is the right move indeed. So often we run before we can walk and since running anywhere was completely out of the question in this appalling heat, I decided to wait it out a few months before writing to tell the world what we had done.
In closing may I ask if there is anyone out there who is au-fait with SEO? Remember I once said that I would be happy to promote any of Rosa's followers who needed a boost? Well now we are looking for someone to assist with search engine optimization?
Have a wonderful March and I promise to be primed and ready for the rest of this year!
Warmest Wishes
Lynn Schultz
www.rosaorganics.com 
